guardian angel
by paperbagface
Summary: SasuSaku. AU. Even angels lose their wings, but that makes me human, and now I can love you like one.


Even angels lose their wings.

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**guardian angel  
**by: paperbagface

_disclaimer: don't own Naruto._

_A/N: Okay, I think this turned out to be a bad mess of fail. I'm just uploading it for a little, and I'll probably delete it. XD I like the idea though, so look out for a rewrite C:_

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His name is Uchiha Sasuke. He is quite beautiful, with beautiful pale skin and mysterious – _mesmerizing –_ onyx eyes, and he is taller than most. Regardless of his eyes, his nature itself is quite mysterious; there is an air of secrecy and sophistication about him that is alluring yet dangerous at the same time. She watches him from above, at first with curiosity and later with fascination. Her bright eyes glow not from the brightness of the world Above but with emotions she inherited from her past life. When she first sees him, she is disgusted at his behavior – how he has all the women at his feet yet his nature is so cold and unloving. But when she learns from his actions and watches his life, she knows that it is not his fault; that it is only natural for his nature to be so cold and cautious. Her heartless chest thumps as if her heart was reborn into her, because she remembers the pain that _she _went through before she was sent Above to be a messenger to her Divine Creator.

She is called forth to protect him when his life pummels down and is edging towards the darkness. Her Divine Creator, a beautiful being with colorless wings sprouting from his – or her? – back, comfortably sits in a simple throne-like chair that sprouts with figs and shines like gold.

"My Cherry Blossom's Tear," she – or he? – greets, a lovely smile formed on his/her's lips, "He needs your help."

The angel forgets all formalities and kneels at her Creator's feet, tears streaming from her eyes. The images she watched and the pain she could feel overwhelms her; she was human once, but she lost all humanity long ago when she died a painful death and became a messenger of her Creator.

"Please help me save him," she pleads, taking her Creator's hands in hers and clutching to them tightly. "Please don't let him die – don't let him wander to the world Below."

"Sakura," her Creator gently says, removing his/her hands from Sakura's to fondly hold Sakura's face, "You know the rules."

"But he can't die."

"But you can't love him, my Cherry Blossom's Tear," The Creator quietly murmurs. "You know the rules."

The words stun Sakura. It is impossible for an angel to "love" a human; they have no heart and therefore have no emotion. But Sakura knows that she was gifted with her past emotions when she was reborn an angel; that was the gift from her Creator and that is her uniqueness in the world Above. Though Sakura knows she does not love the boy, she knows that she must save him. She owes the boy that much; Uchiha Sasuke does not deserve to take his life to end the pain. She has read what the Creator has planned for him, and he is destined for great things; she knows she cannot allow him to stray from the path. She must return to the Living World and save him.

"To save him means you must lose your wings," her Creator says with an air of authority, yet with an undertone of sadness. The Creator knows the pain of losing any of his/her beloved children, and the Creator knows how immensely painful it is. The world Above is a world of second chances, where a being is reborn as an angel to carry out the work of the Divine; but when they desire to return to the world of the Living, they will no longer be reborn as an angel. They will go to someplace in the universe, to await their rebirth as a human – or to not be reborn at all. The world is an interesting place with complications that cannot be helped. But to every complication is a loophole – but the only loophole is much more painful and irreversible than Death itself. "And you won't be reborn. If you fall in love with him, Sakura, then you know the consequences."

Love between guardian angels and their charges is strictly forbidden only because it is not natural. But there is only one way for a guardian angel to show their love for the human they protect; they must give the human their wings to save the human from the pain, but they themselves will no longer be protected by the Creator. They are susceptible to the evils of the human race and the demons that occasionally escape from the world Below. They die, and they may never be reborn.

"I must save him, my Creator," she firmly says.

The Creator smiles – regretful but happy – and nods.

"Then save him you shall. I will miss you, my Cherry Blossom's Tear – my Sakura."

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_you shall love him, my Sakura..._

_forgive me, but you will live._

_you will feel love, pain, and sorrow – _

_and it will all be yours._

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Haruno Sakura awakes with a start on her bed, her bright eyes frantic and her skin enveloped with a cold sweat. The digital clock on her nightstand reads 3:02 AM, and her heart nervously thumps, as if predicting some ominous event to take her life – but nothing happens. Her head is fuzzy with unexplainable chaos, and she swings her legs over her bed, shaking her head at her utter insanity, and opens her bedroom window. A breeze of cool, night air cools her, and she leans out to stare at the bright, city lights and the world taking place – alive and thriving in the night, but dead in the sunlight – and the happiness that is shared and the pain that is created.

The night air brings pain to her wrists, and for a few moments she stares at the fresh cuts there. It is as if she cannot remember her self-injuries, but soon the memories of her mother's abuse and carelessness that prompts her to reassure herself that she is alive. Sakura sighs and shakes her head, ignoring the annoying sting of her closing cuts as she closes her window shuts and steps back into her warm bed.

Tomorrow is a new day, with a new school. Perhaps she will find something worth living for.

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She sits beside him on the first day of high school, and he wonders if she can feel the shivers that erupt through his spine and the chattering of his teeth. She makes the palms of his hands sweat and warm, his heart to erupt in erratic beats and his stomach to flutter with annoying butterflies – and he doesn't even know her name. All he knows is that she has interesting, pastel-pink hair, the brightest green eyes, and pale skin that is naturally porcelain colored.

He occasionally glances at her papers, and he notices that her name is Haruno Sakura – fitting, for her features that is. To him, she looks like some Goddess straight out of some sacred spring to make the flowers bloom and the trees to grow. Her handwriting is not quite cursive, but it's neat printing – some sort of script that looks like it deserves to be used for love-letters or letters of apology. Her head bobs as if she's listening to some inaudible song, but he can't see a trace of earphones.

Her skin looks soft, and he can smell the faint scent of some fruity perfume or lotion that lingers on her skin. He realizes the fresh scars on her wrists and the nearly invisible lines across her arms, and he wonders what's happened in her life – if she's just like him.

Sasuke sits still in his desk, his back burning with the fresh lashes from the previous night, but says nothing to the girl that inexorably fascinates him. More shivers erupt across his spine, but he cannot bring himself to speak to the perfection beside him. Besides, he curiously muses, there is something familiar about her, but something so cold – yet so warm at the same time – that somehow makes her off-limits.

"Your ink is seeping through your paper," she says, her interesting, sweet voice breaking his reverie. An amused smile is on her lips, and he is somehow thrilled to know that his stupidity amuses her. Sometimes, the tiniest things in life can make a difference. Looking at the bright-red lines on her wrists makes him happy to know that perhaps, he can be the small difference in her life – be it with his stupidity or whatever he may offer. He knows the pain of loneliness all too well.

"Thanks," he mutters.

She softly laughs and shakes her head.

"No problem."

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_you cannot fall in love with him__  
or else you will be blind  
and you will lose yourself instead_

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"Hey – uh, Sasuke, right? – do you think you can show me where my Psychology class is? Life is a bitch – because obviously, moving schools your senior year sucks ass – and this school's blueprints are, too."

Sasuke feels a smirk break across his lips, and nods. The rest of the students have filed out for lunch, but the two remain, in an awkward, unexplainable comfortableness that is comfortable yet _not _at the same time. There is an interesting familiarity about them that irks Sasuke – because he knows that he does not know anything about her, but sometimes, he thinks he does.

"I know what you mean," he finally replies as they take a walk through the empty, deserted hallways.

"Do you?" She quietly whispers, because the double meaning of his words cannot be ignored.

His brow rises with curiosity, and he points to the slits on her wrists.

"I do," he replies, his voice sure.

His confidence annoys her, because surely, she knows that nobody can honestly compare to the pain she feels day to day. To see her mother so happy with her stepsisters and her stepfather, to see her mother ignore her because she was born from a man that left her so long ago, is painful. Sakura can hardly bear the pain of ignorance and loneliness, trying to lose weight off her already fat-less body in hopes to be accepted – to be _loved. _Her perfect, skinny, stepsisters make her self-esteem drop millions when they brag to her about their perfect lives and their perfect boyfriends, and sometimes she wants to take up a cigarette and blow away the problems of her life with the smoke.

"Then where's yours?" Sakura stubbornly challenges. Accepting the fact that other people are suffering with her irks her, because the world has never revolved around her, and she wishes it did. "You don't smell like smoke. You don't smell like alcohol. And your wrists are pure."

Sasuke's lips ruefully twist into a regretful smile.

"I don't need to cut my wrists when I already have – "

He abruptly stops himself, because only one other person knows of his abuse, and that's his best friend – Uzumaki Naruto, and he moved away long ago. Somehow, Sakura knows the meaning of his words, and clamps her mouth shut. So he has it just as bad as she does – perhaps even worse because his pain is not self-inflicted.

"Sorry," she finally says.

He smirks and shrugs.

"What can you do? Life is a bitch."

The rest of their journey is spent in silence, and Sakura cannot distinguish whether or not finding what she lives for is something to be thrilled about.

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It's cheesy for her to know that she's smitten with him after a few hours of knowing him. But something inside tells her that she's known him all along, that he's really no stranger and she knows him inside out. The laughter from the family room seems to reverberate through her walls, even though the voices are muffled and nearly inaudible. She holds a silver razor in her hand, her teeth clenched together and her lips pursed in thought.

His understanding of her loneliness makes her heart flutter, and she drops the razor on the bathroom floor. She holds her head in her hands as she pulls her knees to her chest and cries on her bathroom floor. She doesn't know why she cries, or why she's overwhelmed with so much emotion, but she cries anyway, sobbing with a sorrow she can't quite understand. He can't possibly love her – her, the girl that freakishly likes him a _lot _after just a few hours of knowing him. The pain of that understanding nearly causes her to pick up the razor once more, but she stops herself.

The answers cannot be found by her reassurances; she's slit herself only to reassure herself that she is alive and the heart inside her is still beating. But now, the heavy weight of the heart in her chest flutters when she thinks about someone sharing her pain – someone who's thought about dying to cheat his or her way out of horrid life.

She's found something worth living for, but she doesn't know why. She knows it's stalkerish and freaky and creepy, but somehow she knows it isn't _really. _There's a reason within her that tells her its justified for her to like him so deeply, but she can't find it.

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_You wicked child._

Sasuke's gashes on his back seem to reopen when his father's words echo in his mind. He clenches his fist and punches the pond, scaring away the koi fish and causing ripples across the blue surface. Though the gashes on his back sting, he knows the emotional pain inflicted on his heart is much more painful. The pain of being unloved, the pain of being a scapegoat to everything is hardly bearable.

_You made him leave. It's your fault, you bastard!_

Warm tears fall from his eyes, and Sasuke hates the feeling of vulnerability. That is why he sits in a secluded forest beside an unknown pond – he could never be this vulnerable and outwardly-pained in public. His fist rises to punch the water, but a soft, quick hand stops him, gently moving it to his side.

"It's okay."

The familiar voice sends shivers down his spine, and he looks to his side. Sakura sits beside him, her emerald eyes understanding, her lips formed in a reassuring smile. His eyes wander to her wrists, but is surprised to see no new inflictions; instead there are faint scars of a past life and pain, but no new blood has flowed.

"You stopped," he quietly says, partly embarrassed for her to experience his vulnerable state.

She looks to her wrists knowingly and softly laughs.

"It's really hard – to not cut, you know," she explains. "I think about it every night, but I can't do it. Not anymore."

"Why?" He asks, confused at his own curiosity. "If it makes you who you are – if it makes you feel alive, then why stop? Why stop the feelings of euphoria and belonging and reassurance?"

Sakura's lips form a smile, and she hesitantly places her delicate hand over his. Her cold hands – but also so warm at the same – send more shivers down his spine, but it makes his body feel alive. Makes him _belong._

"Because when you find something to live for, Sasuke," she gently murmurs, her fingers softly holding his, "Then it's not worth it. Because that one, tiny thing is so much more powerful against cutting myself to make me feel alive – because there's something in the world much more worth my self-inflicted pain."

Sasuke stares at her for a few moments before looking away, looking as the pond water ripples across the surface, looking as the sunlight passes right through it to illuminate an alternate world.

"I'm glad you stopped," he finally says, his voice soft yet still cold. "It hurt looking at."

Sakura laughs, yet sometimes she wonders how it is possible that Sasuke is so vulnerable – and why she was given the strength to make him belong.

"Sometimes the most painful are the ones you can't see."

He nods knowingly, but says nothing more. Sasuke wonders if she can see the fresh gashes through his shirt, see the blood pooling across the fabric, but he remains silent. There is truth in her words, because he knows his most painful wounds are in his heart – and those are unseen, untouched.

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_my Cherry Blossom's Tear,  
i am so very sorry.  
you cannot love him,  
but we are all lured to the forbidden._

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The razor in her hand seems to burn her skin. The pain in her heart is so unbearable that she unsteadily holds it to her wrists, hovering just above the skin and the scars and the pain she's endured. She is no longer in the confines of her bathroom walls, but outside in the forest by the pond, praying that nobody can stumble upon her sickening notions. The words of her stepsisters and the agreement of her mother echo in her mind, reverberating against her brain and replaying louder and louder every time. Warm tears fall from her eyes, falling onto her exposed wrists.

She's never hesitated to cut before, but now, she knows that it's not the same. Now, she has something to live for, has something that makes her belong, has something she _loves. _But her anxiety and doubts have gotten the better of her, because she doesn't know if he loves her. She doesn't know if he returns her feelings – the feelings that make her so alive and make her smile and make her frown and make her cry.

Because he can't love her. Something inside tells her that, screams it in her ear in an attempt to make her stop. He can't love her, and she can't love him. There is something in the universe that is telling her that it is impossible – that it can't happen.

Is it because she isn't beautiful? Is it because she isn't skinny enough? Is it because she's screwed up in the brain and twisted in the heart? Is it because she's loved him so deeply since day one without explanation?

Her doubts are enough reason for her to bring the razor to her skin. But before her hand can move to slice her skin, a hand quickly grabs it – unceremoniously and almost painfully – and stops her.

"Hey, hey, _hey_," the familiar voice says, rough with anger and worry, "What the _hell _are you thinking?"

She offers no explanation and breaks into a fit of sobs, her razor falling to the forest floor forgotten. Sasuke loosens his grip on her, his free hand taking the despicable razor and throwing it far into the pond, satisfied when it begins its journey to the bottom of the pond. He is short of surprised when Sakura places her head on his chest and continues to sob, tears continuing to stain her cheeks and fall onto the grass. Saying nothing – because what can he say? – he gently holds her in his arms, his hand holding her face to his chest.

"What happened to whatever made you feel alive – that was so much better than cutting yourself?" He softly murmurs.

"It hurts," she confesses through tears, her voice muffled against the fabric of her shirt. "It hurts because it doesn't want me. Nothing wants me."

"That can't _possibly _be true," Sasuke disbelieving says.

"Yes it is," Sakura sobs. It's true. It's true. It's _true. _He doesn't love her as much as she does. He can't. It's impossible.

Sasuke's heart breaks, because what she says is not the truth. If he could just tell her how much he needed her – how much he _really _loved her – then he would. He would save her from all the pain and reassure her that he needed her in his life. But he cannot; his experiences with his father and his dysfunctional family have made sure of that. He cannot express what is in his heart because he's been abused so much that it's hard to tell what is love and what is not.

"Sakura, I – " He begins, but abruptly stops. The words on his tongue disappear. He can't.

Sakura's chest tightens, and her pain increases. She knew it. She knew he could never love her.

"Why does it hurt so much?" She pleads, her bright eyes looking up to stare into his. "Tell me. Tell me why it hurts."

Sasuke's words do not form. Instead, he sees and feels the pain in her eyes. The pain that he feels. The pain that she feels. The pain that they feel – _share. _

"I don't know why it hurts, Sakura," he finally says. "Life is a bitch, and everything hurts."

More tears fall from her eyes, but this time, he has the decency to gently swipe his thumb across her cheeks to wipe them away.

"But – " The words disappear on his tongue once more, but this time, Sakura can see. This time, she can see what he can't say.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," she says, before leaning upward to press her lips against his.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, a pure, white feather appears in the air by Sakura's back and floats to the floor. There are no birds in the sky.

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_it is melded into the pact  
and there is no return...  
the time of judgment is near  
and i fear that you will lose_

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The world seems to stop when Sasuke's father emerges from the thick of the forest to point a gun to his son's chest. Sasuke is thankful that Sakura is nowhere near, that she is somewhere safe and somewhere where she cannot sacrifice herself. His father's eyes are outlined in red, marking his insanity.

"You deserve to die, Sasuke," his father spits out. "You killed my son."

Sasuke says nothing, clenching his fists and keeping them to his sides. He wants to defend himself, to prove that somehow, life is unexpected and everything will turn out fine. But that is not the way the world works, and before he can think of anything, his father's swift finger pulls the trigger.

"Goodbye," his father smugly says, his lips formed in a soft smile.

"_NO!" _

In a split second, Sakura emerges from the forest, running as if she is flying, and pushes Sasuke out of the way, the bullet lodging in her chest as she painfully falls to the forest floor.

"I have to save you. I realized that, Sasuke. I'm here to save you. The Creator sent me here so you wouldn't die and go to the world Below, because that's not where you belong. You belong in the Living World so you can carry out the Creator's wishes and become what you dream of becoming."

Sasuke's father disappears, his run frantic and his eyes wide with insanity. Blood pools across the grass beneath Sakura, and she clenches her fists, gritting her teeth together to make the pain more bearable. Sasuke's eyes are wide with fear and sorrow, and he quickly holds her, his hand pressed against her chest to temporarily stop the blood flow.

"Sakura, what are you saying? You can't leave me. Don't leave me," Sasuke desperately pleads.

Sakura smiles a beautiful smile, and she removes Sasuke's hand from her chest, holding it tight in her hands.

"When your father first thought of killing you, it was earlier today, at five fifty five pm. I was in the shower, and suddenly my breath went short and the world was a bright yellow. And then I remembered, Sasuke. I remembered that I was actually an angel, sent by the Creator to save you. I loved you even when I was an angel, and that's why I loved you _so _much after only _hours _of meeting you. I wasn't supposed to love you though. But I did. But I _do. _And that's why I took the bullet for you. I was supposed to watch over you, wait until your hour of near-death, and bring you back to life, but I couldn't bear the pain of thinking you would actually hover life and death. I love you too much. And now this is my consequence for breaking the rules."

Wings of light sprout from Sakura's back, and she winces in pain. In the blink of an eye, her wings quickly disperse into millions of white feathers until there is nothing left of them. Her wings are lost.

"But angels don't exist," Sasuke disbelieving says. "How could they? You're dying. You're going to _die._"

"Angels do exist," Sakura gently murmurs, reaching up to hold his face in her hands. "Because you're my angel. You saved me. And I hope that I was a good angel to you, too."

He leans down and gently presses his lips against hers. She smiles against him, and somehow the pain is all lost. The world is glowing brightly once more, and this time she can feel the magnetic pull of the world Above, beckoning to her.

"Goodbye, Uchiha Sasuke," Sakura faintly says, slowly getting up as the pull around her grows stronger. "I love you, and I'm afraid that's why we won't meet again."

She smiles, and disappears, her body slowly becoming white feathers before she is completely gone.

"_Sakura!" _

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_you know the consequences  
of forbidden love  
but how can i,  
the Divine Creator of  
everything and nothing,  
ignore a love so true?_

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Days without her are lonely, he bitterly muses. The pond is not the same without her gentle touch and her chaste kisses, without the scent of her fruity perfume and her quiet laughter. Life without her is not the same. Life without her is unbearably lonely and he wonders why he deserves to live and why she died instead. He regrets never being able to tell her he loved her, because he loved – _loves _– her much more deeply than she understood.

The revolver that took her life is in his hands, and he hovers with uncertainty and certainty. He knows it is a waste to take his life, because her life was taken in lieu of his. But Sasuke can no longer take it; he can no longer take the loneliness and pain. He cannot live without her smile, her laughter, and her bright green eyes; he cannot live without her knowledge, philosophy, and willpower to continue living even through a hellish life.

_I love you..._

Her final words echo in his head, and he brings the revolver to his head. It is cold against his skin, but he is almost thrilled. Almost thrilled to be able to escape something so painful and unbearable. His finger unlocks the safety, and it rests on the trigger. One pull, and that is all that is needed for his escape. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His journey is going to end now, because a journey without Sakura is no journey at all. It is merely a road leading to nowhere, full of thorns to slash across his heart.

_Goodbye._

"Hey, _HEY!" _

The familiar voice startles him, and he drops the gun on the grass floor. He frantically searches, and is surprised when she emerges from the forest, quickly kicking the gun into the pond and hunching over to catch her breath.

"Whoa, glad I came in time! Nothing is worth taking your life for!"

"Sakura?" He asks, certain that his eyes are playing tricks on him. Sakura is dead – gone.

Her bright green eyes widen with surprise.

"You, uh, _know _me?"

Confusion clouds over his mind. Before he can reply, he is tackled to the forest floor, her arms tight around him and her face buried in her chest.

"I'm just kidding, Sasuke," she happily says, a smile on her lips. "I didn't think the Creator would bend the rules."

Tears stream from his eyes, but this time they are not sad, nor are they a result of pain. Instead they are happy, glowing brilliantly in the sunshine. He tightly brings his arms around her and holds her close, because he certainly doesn't want to let her go. He did once, and he almost killed himself for it.

"But she did it because I love you, and somehow you really love me, too," Sakura continues, her eyes shining brighter than sunshine. "I've lost my wings, but now I'm only human, and now I can love you like one."

He smiles and kisses her, their lips fusing and holding them together. Life and love will carry on.

"Sometimes, you don't have to be a real angel to save someone. Love is a savior to anyone," he finally says, his onyx eyes shining with life. "I'm sorry I didn't see that earlier."

Sakura laughs.

"I'm glad that bullet didn't kill you. I love you."

He smiles.

"I love you, too."

Both their hearts flutter, and the scars on their bodies seem to disappear. That pain was part of a past life, one meant to be forgotten – only happiness awaits in the future.

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_A/N: Uh, yeah. Again, this'll probably be deleted sooner or later because I think it's a large, LARGE mess of fail. XD  
__But since I do like the idea, it'll most likely be rewritten without all the rush rush rush and more explanation to everything.  
I dunno. Hahahaha._

_Thanks for reading C:_


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